Joe Dean, one of the stories of the DP World Tour season, writes this week's Player Blog as he makes his debut at the Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship.
On the day that Qualifying School Final Stage gets under way, Joe Dean is teeing it up in the second round in Abu Dhabi at the DP World Tour Play-Offs. This time last year, he was at the Qualifying School. In between then and now he has been delivery driving, undergone hypnosis and secured a runner-up finish that sees him battling for dual membership and a PGA TOUR card but it all began at INFINITUM, where Joe starts his blog........
Dread, panic. That was honestly my initial reaction at holing my last putt on the final hole at the Final Stage of Qualifying School last year. It wasn't to do with finances at first, but more so the fact I really did struggle travelling. I had won a DP World Tour card and knew I would have to do a lot of travelling. There was a real mixture of emotions. I was happy, of course. This is what I had wanted to achieve all my golfing career.
From memory, I think I initially put my name down to play in the season-opening events in South Africa but then when I realised how unorganised I was - with such a quick turnaround - and the reality of the costs it would incur, I decided it wasn't a great idea. I could have made it to one of the South Africa events, by self-funding, but there were just too many reasons against making the trip at the time. From there it was a case of being on the hunt for sponsorship and seeking the help of a hypnotherapist which ultimately got me to a point where I could travel in a fit frame of mind and start playing some events.
The genesis of me seeing a hypnotherapist dates to back me winning 12 free sessions through topping the order of merit on the 2020protour in 2023. Were it not for those sessions and working with Darren Hirst, I would not be here. It would have been very difficult, if not impossible, for me to travel. The cause of my fear over travel dated back to when our family dog that we'd had for 16 years had to be put to sleep in 2014. It was on the same day as an England training camp in Portugal. My parents thought it would be better to do it when I was away but it almost created some sort of separation anxiety with travelling. It was something that I managed to hide away until 2019, while my fiancée became a coping mechanism. As soon as I went to an airport, it triggered things in me that I didn't know could be triggered.
Only a few months earlier, I'd had a mental breakdown during Qualifying School. I was at Second Stage and one of the rounds got postponed, and with my fiancée scheduled to fly home to go back to work in the early hours of a Monday morning it meant she couldn't stay to watch. And I had a mental breakdown, hardly slept ahead of the final round. I was in a good place to qualify for the Final Stage but I didn't want to play well, just wanted to go home because she had left. I was in a very dark place again. How my caddie Max helped me was fantastic. I think I shot eight under that day and came second and then had to figure out very quickly how I'd deal with Final Stage. As harsh as Qualifying School is, it was a nightmare from hell for me that week. It almost took any sort of anticipation out of the golf for me.
If you ask anyone, I'd like to think they'd say I am not someone who beats around the bush. I'd only played one-day events the previous season, so going into that first event in Qatar I had no expectations, albeit I wanted to make the cut. I knew the DP World Tour offer a safety net to those who have status, so if you didn't make money it's not as if you put yourself at risk of a poor position financially. Knowing I had that safety net eased the pressure off. I went into that event in Qatar thinking nobody knows me and I have got nothing to prove to anyone. Aside from Qualifying School, I had not played more than a one or two-day event for the last two years so I even had nothing to prove to myself. It was a case of just go out and see what happens.
After missing the cut in Qatar, I returned back home. I've never been someone who is overly confident or brash about anything. It's nice to get back home and return to some normality, really. You are treated like very special people when you are out on Tour. It's amazing but I think you can get ahead of yourself very quickly. I've told my friends that if they ever see me get cocky then to pull me straight back down to earth.
I'd worked as a delivery driver for the last three, three-and-a-half years so it was just something to get me back to the norm. Now, having played nine months or so straight on Tour, it is quite difficult for me to come home and just sit down and relax. I almost feel guilty for doing it. It's just a different lifestyle. If I still had the time, I'd probably do a shift here and there to remind myself where I was. A lot of the guys take the mick out of me because I only buy one yardage book but at the end of the day, two yardage books are worth a full shift at work. I don't necessarily need two yardage books, me and my caddie look at the same yardage book, so half a day's work in the van does not equate to the value of a yardage book. For some other guys, it is well worth the money but I don't quite see it so I still can't convince myself to buy two yardage books!
I'm far from being alone when it comes to stories of doing jobs outside of being a professional golfer. Some of the Challenge Tour guys might have a second income, and if you go below that to some of the smaller satellite Tours I can guarantee you probably half the field will have another job, whether it be as a teaching pro or otherwise. Many of the guys will have done it at one point or another, Matt Baldwin spoke about how he worked for Amazon as a delivery driver.
When I went to Kenya, things happened pretty quickly from there. I gained confidence from that performance and went from there. My highlight is the play-off at the KLM Open with Guido Migliozzi and Marcus Kinhult. Never in a million years did I think I'd be a in a play-off. That whole day I was in my bubble. The front nine didn't go to plan, and to be truthful I was just hoping to stay inside the top 15, but then I holed a few putts on the back nine coming in. It was a bit surreal being in the play-off. You see them on the Tour, and then when you're involved in one it's completely different. Afterwards, the release of pressure feels unbelievable but in the moment it doesn't feel as special because you're still in the zone of focusing one shot at a time. Looking back on it, I gave it my best go and I don't wish I'd done anything differently.
I arrive in Abu Dhabi, feeling confident about the challenge of these next two weeks. I learned quite a lot when I went over and played in these conditions on the Challenge Tour earlier in the season. It's a different type of golf that is required to playing in Europe. That is what caught me off guard when I was in Qatar. But I've done some research on Yas Links and know what sort of shots I am going to need, having played at Saadiyat earlier in the year. It's four rounds, not cut, so guaranteed money which is very good. I'll just adopt a take-it-as-it-comes mentality. It seems the more I try to put the emphasis on good golf that things go backwards for me. Relax, have fun and embrace the opportunity. That's the main thing. My fiancée Em is with me, and I've got friends coming out to Dubai so let's just have a good time. As much as it is your job, you have to appreciate these moments.
It's been great to meet the guys you've watched win and play on Tour for years, like Pablo Larrazábal, Matt Wallace and Tommy Fleetwood. They've been great. Dan Gavins is probably the main player I see outside of Tour life and hang around the most. Dan Brown and Andrew Wilson are also guys that I've sort of known growing up so it's nice to have some guys out there that you've known. I played with Angel Hidalgo when he won in Spain and saw straight away his flair with the Spanish hands. It was fantastic to see. While I may have largely kept myself around people I know, it's great to meet new people and forge those friendships. And don't get me wrong, I won't be everyone's cup of tea, so it's all relative.
I had a successful amateur career, with the highlight being my victory at the English Amateur in 2015. Winning it at Alwoodley, close to home, made it that bit more special. Thinking back to my amateur days, I now realise just how gruelling it was - it's like being on Tour as a professional, playing lots of golf in a short period of time. When I transitioned into the paid ranks in 2016, and started playing on the PGA EuroPro Tour, I thought it was going to be a lot easier than what it was. When you're playing as an amateur, often on links course, if you shoot one or two under par you'd be in contention, whereas that score on the EuroPro Tour often just meant you were hovering around the cut line. It was a wake-up call that all of a sudden you had to change your mindset and go for flags. It was tough. It cost you £800 to £1,000 a week and to earn that back you had to finish top ten. While many may not think it, that was a tall order. And with every year, the standard of player just got better and better. As much as I got stuck on the EuroPro, it was a great platform for many a player.
Back to now, and even after a successful season, I won't take anything for granted. I'm a glass half empty kind of guy. This game is so volatile, that whatever you think you've got can go tomorrow. I'll never think that this is me set for ten years on Tour because I know that after next year I could be back to the Challenge Tour. While I would love to stay on Tour for many years, knowing how hard it can be, my optimism isn't that great. There are a lot of great players out there. People might think I am very negative but if you'd been in my shoes then I'd like to think you'd understand. I'd like to just keep my card, but I'm under no impression that next year is a given and to stay on Tour will be a tall order.
One challenge for aspiring players I think is that from a young age you are made to feel like you have got to go out, hit some balls, go to the gym and repeat it on a cycle and, while it may work for the odd person, I think more often than not it hinders a lot guys and strips a lot of hope out of them because they they're told this is what they need to do to get out onto Tour. It's not true. It's probably one of the biggest lies I was ever told that doing more is the answer and it clearly wasn't. If I worked in the evening, which I did most of the time, I'd go and have nine holes with the lads, have some food and go to work or I'd do 20 minutes of putting, ten minutes on the range, play a couple of holes and then go to work. It's so individual this game that you just need to find what works for yourself.
Joe Dean was speaking to the DP World Tour's Mathieu Wood.
